Shout Mouse Press

View Original

POV: Your Rich Aunt Is Here

POV: Your Rich Aunt is Here
by Ayah

Why, hello there, Cinnamon Roll. It’s me, your rich aunt.

Apparently you are feeling sad and you are not tending to yourself. Apparently, you forgot that you are a houseplant with more complicated feelings. Apparently people telling you to just stop worrying doesn’t actually fix your problems.

Well, behold my sugar, here I am, equipped with coconut oil and face masks. But first you have to get one thing in your little head, none of these 83 bath bombs in assorted flavors are going to help until you make a life that you don’t have to constantly run away from.

Now, what you should do next is fulfill your houseplant duties if you haven’t already. Go eat some food, drink some water, which is even said to cure depression! But don’t drink out of a plastic bottle, Honey. I know you don’t have a rich husband who died of mysterious circumstances like me, but it’s classier to drink out of a glass. And of course, go sunbathe and soak up your vitamin D.

Once you’re done with that, dance around your room. Personally, I recommend dancing to Tangled’s “Kingdom Dance”. Dancing releases endorphins and I know that because I watch Dr. Oz. You may even want to pretend you are anywhere but in your room.

After all that, you’ll look a little um..sparkly. Why don’t you go take a nice and relaxing shower or even a bubble bath? Figure out what makes your heart happy, which is way more important than making Becky from your underwater yoga class happy. By the way, Love, don’t let anyone with bad brows give you life advice.

Make sure your surroundings are clean. Unfortunately I cannot lend you my butler because he’s busy vacuuming my driveway, but this step is rather important. You may even want to redecorate or rearrange things while you're at it to really freshen things up.

Lastly, It’s okay to do nothing if that’s what you think you need. You may constantly want to go take over the world, but sometimes you need to make sure the world doesn’t take over you. Live everyday like you are in the most wonderful movie ever.
Alright, Darling? Love ya.